Chapter 2 - Feminine Appeal

"The Delight of Loving My Husband"

I still consider myself a newlywed.  Mac and I have enjoyed a blessed 2+ years of marriage, and it seems that we should still be in "honeymoon" stage.  What I find, though, is that as time goes on, not only do I find myself continually loving him more, but I find my love growing and changing.  It has become so much more of a deep care for him, a need to protect and nurture him.  It is important, though, to continue enjoying him and cherishing him.

The "love" used in Titus 2:4 when it talks of teaching the younger women to love their husbands is from the Greek word phileo:  the love between very close friends.  It emphasizes enjoyment and respect; it is characterized by joy and delight.  Often times, I think this is the first aspect of love to fade when times are busy or stressful.  No longer is it about enjoying the other person, but instead becomes a battle to keep everyone fed and rested.

It is so important to focus on the wonderful characteristics my husband portrays and the things he blesses me with when times are hard.  When my affection and tender love diminishes, I am quick to blame it on his actions (or inaction, most often).  Instead, I need to check my own heart.

God has wired women with an amazing natural "alert system" through our emotions.  When our emotions run wild, it often means that their is sin present and we need to make a change.  I take the blame off my husband and put the praise on him instead.  I want to continue loving him more and more, that I might bring honor to the gospel of Christ by following His example.

Feminine Appeal

My lovely friend, Michelle, challenged me to read a book called Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney.  The focus is on the seven virtues of a godly wife and mother found in Titus 2:3-5-

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.  They are to teach what is good, and o train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

As I study my way through this book, I hope to reflect on it and enlighten others each day.  There is so much wisdom in finding a mentor, someone who has done life, who has gained wisdom, and who is willing to spread a little on to you.  I'm so thankful to have a beautiful role model in my mother, who has shown nothing but love to all she interacts with.

This first chapter talks about adorning the gospel with our lives, because whether or not we realize it, people are always watching us.  We have the chance to illuminate and draw attention to the untouchable, gracious word of God by our choices, our words, and our actions.  Our conduct has a direct influence on how people think about the gospel.  When I stop to think about my own actions, I would hope that they "adorn" the gospel, that the things I choose to do and say cause people to wonder why I'm different.  Sadly, I don't think I always do a great job.  Not only do my actions falter, but I realize that if someone were to find out some of the thoughts I have, they would be appalled.  My desire is to accept the amazing grace of God and to continue to be changed, transformed, and moved to better reflect his glory and his holiness.  I desire to be a Titus 2 woman.

Moment of Truth

Barely breathing

Lifehouse has some amazing songs, and this one is the closest to describing my barely beating heart now.  I'm so thankful that the Lord holds on to us and pulls us through when times are hard!

The broken clock is a comfort

It helps me sleep tonight

Maybe it can start tomorrow
From stealing all my time

And i am here still waiting

Though i still have my doubts

I am damaged at best

Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart

I'm barley breathing

With a broken heart

That's still beating

In the pain

There is healing

In your name

I find meaning

So i'm holding on

I'm holding on

I'm holding on

I'm barely holding on to you

The broken locks were a warning

You got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded

I'm an open book instead

And i still see your reflection

Inside of my eyes

That are looking for purpose

They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart

I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart
That's still beating

In the pain

(in the pain)

Is there healing?

In your name

(in your name)

I find meaning

So i'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm barely holding on to you

I'm hanging on another day

Just to see what you will throw my way

And i'm hanging on to the words you say

You said that i will be okay

Broken lights on the freeway

Left me here alone

I may have lost my way now

I haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart

I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart

That's still beating

In the pain

(in the pain)

There is healing

In your name

(in your name)

I find meaning

So i'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm barely holding on to you

I'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm holding on

(i'm still holding)

I'm barely holding on to you

That's the way it ought to be...

I have a very unique blessing in my life of many, many kindred spirits.  The Lord has overwhelmed me with friends who I know will be by my side forever, supporting me, and lifting me up when I need it most.  One of those dearly cherished souls sent me this song the other day, and it brought tears to my eyes.  I am humbled to know that I am able to make others feel safe, secure, and blessed just as I have been... So, Mish, I'm posting this one for you, in the midst of hard times.  Thank you to you, and many others, including my WEASels, Amy and Cory who fight off my enemies and speak truth over my life...

More Than You'll Ever Know by Watermark

Something brought you to my mind today 

I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh 

And yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you 

Something about just being with you 

When I leave I feel like I've been near God 

And that's the way it ought to be... 

CHORUS:

'Cause you've been more than a friend to me 

You fight off my enemies 

'Cause you've spoken the Truth over my life 

And you'll never know what it means to me 

Just to know you've been on your knees for me 

Oh, you have blessed my life 

More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah 

More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah 

You had faith, 

when I had none 

You prayed God would bring me a brand new song 

When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing 

And all the while I'm hoping that I'll 

Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me 

And that's the way it ought to be... 

You have carried me 

You have taken upon a burden that wasn't your own 

And may the blessing return to you 

A hundredfold, oh yeah... 

A hundredfold, oh yeah...

Thanksgiving

Well, it's cliche', but seeing as it's Thanksgiving tomorrow, it's time to say thank you to my Lord and Savior for the wonderful blessings in my life.  My eloquent writing skills are far from gone after the surge to get things ready at work and home for a four-day trip to the wonderfully peaceful town of Cashmere.  That being said, we'll go with the beloved bullet-pointed list.  If you follow my blog, despite its sparsity, you are already familiar with my affection for lists.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for...

• First and foremost, the unconditional love and grace of God and His willingness to forgive me and bless me with salvation for eternity
• The life-saving friendships we have grown and made this year
• Mac: always and forever will amaze me with his patience and devotion
• Mom: reminds me that my words, actions, and attitude have the ability to bless others and share God's love if I choose to do so
• Dad: an overwhelming blessing of generosity and protection
• My mother-in-law, Kathy: a beautiful, genuine soul, an example of hospitality and nurturing
• My father-in-law, Steve: a laugh and heart after God
• Grama: one I cherish more than most... faithfulness
• Siblings: Brock, Stan, Nick, Anna... all examples of ambition and initiative

*The ability to be sappy and sentimental about my family, and then switch to one/two-word phrases, in no particular order...

• A Job
• House Church
• Security
• Music
• Food
• Coffee
• Education
• Warm socks
• Technology
• Babies
• Smiles
• Grace

Faithfulness

God's past faithfulness demands my present trust in Him.

Over the last three weeks, Pastor Rob has been leading our church through the "Stones of Remembrance" through the life and growth of Calvary Chapel Corvallis.  The most powerful message I have received his account of our church's history is summed up in the above statement.  No matter what we happen to be going through in life, God has always been faithful, currently is faithful, and will be faithful in our future.  There is never a time when we are uncared for, never a time He does not have His best interest in mind for the people He loves.  Through hard times, it is vital to feed on God's past faithfulness in order to survive.  We remember the times that He has seen us through the mire before and cling to the hope that He will remain faithful as He was during that fire-swamp.  Just as a child locks to his parent in trouble, so shall we hold fast to our Father the Protector.  He carries us through when things look destitute.  

Lamentations 3:22-23 encompasses the heart of trusting in the Lord: "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassion never fails.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Sometimes I find myself reciting this verse over and over in my head, just to convince myself that we will, in fact, survive.  I must confess that I have faced minimal trials in my 23 years of life.  I will not share my entire book of life now, but I am constantly reminded how truly blessed and protected I have always been.  I thank the Lord for the testimonies of others who dwarf my faith and encourage me to see the fulness of God in a bigger light.  However, trials never cease in this life.  We live in a fallen world, plagued by the sin of all mankind.   Thus, we suffer.  Many pains are brought on myself by my own selfish ambition.  Others appear entirely unexplainable, far from fair, and seemingly unbearable.  And those are the moments in which we must hold onto the absolute truth that we will never be consumed because of the Lord's great consumed.  Though it feels as if we are drowning, never will be overtaken.  The Lord's compassion is never failing.  God's faithfulness depends neither on what we can observe nor on our perception.  

There will also be chapters in this book of life when things are fantastic.  Life goes smoothly, amazing blessings happen, everything is comfortable and secure.  It is in those moments we tend to forget the goodness and favor of our amazing Creator.  When things are good, it is easier to loosen our grip on God.  Friends, what I find is that it is in the good times that we need our Lord the most. 

The world will continue to deceive us.  We fix our eyes on financial stability, relational satisfaction, job security, covetous possessions.  Surely God created this world, everything in it, and gave man the ability to create new things to be enjoyed.  However, the moment it becomes more desirable than our relationship with Him, we sin.  We lose sight of what is most important, not only one what is most important, but on the only truth that is important.  

Ask yourself this:  Would you trade in all your money for one day with our God?  Would you give up your marriage, your relationship, your family if God reached out His hand to you and asked you to leave it all behind?  Would you give up your earthly body, your quest for perfection to be covered by His beauty?  Would you give up new clothes, the perfect job, your favorite food, simply to spend one second in His glorious presence?  It saddens me that I do not immediately shout "YES" to all these questions.  Humbly, ashamed, I merely hope I would nod.  The truth of the matter is, I love things too much.  I love my family too much.  It is time to begin caring less. 

Care less about life here on this earth.  Put your focus heavenward.  Store up your treasures in heaven.  All things here will come to an end, but God's love endures forever.  Hold on and never let go.