Trying to listen

James 1:19 - 20 "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."


Why is it that we are so quick to speak and slow to listen?  I find myself more inclined to share my opinion, to spill my woes and sorrows on any willing ear.  And then there's the dilemma when other people are talking and you are indeed listening, but you hear nothing because you are waiting for them to shut up so you can talk.  Ever experienced the situation where you are asked a question and in the middle of your answer, the person interrupts and rants about a completely unrelated topic?  Yeah, I do that to people. It goes something like this:

Other person: Have any plans for the weekend?
Self: Well, yes, actually--
Other person: Oh! That reminds me, I was watching the news and it seems that the progress on such-and-such case is....

If I ever do that to you, please tell me to stop interrupting... it's rude and insensitive and I never mean to do it to you.

I've found that if you get interrupted enough times, you tend to stop talking altogether.  Why try and say something at all if noone really cares what you're going to say?  This whole revelation has helped me realize that I need to be a quicker listener.  The less talking I do the better.  Not for the mere fact of protecting myself from defeat, but because I realize how much it hurts others when they're trying to be heard by a deaf ear.  There is much more to listening than simply being able to interject "uh huh" "I see" or "no way" at the appropriate times.  Listening includes validating the person's feelings (i.e., i see how that would be disappointing..), offering support (would you like to tell me more? or what can i do to help you?), and making an effort to understand (it sounds like you feel discouraged because this happened...).  A step in the right direction would be as easy as asking about the other person's life rather than jumping in with my own stories.  I try not to let a conversation go by without asking "How was your day?" or "How are you feeling" (and waiting to listen to the answer!).  It's really not all that difficult, but still I fail to do so sometimes in my selfish ambition for myself to be heard.  


Then there is the issue of what comes out of my mouth when I do speak... sometimes, I let my mouth get ahead of me.  I say things about situations or people that are untrue, hurtful, and insensitive.  When I stop and think about what I'm actually saying and I realize how I would feel if someone was saying it about ME, I shut my mouth.  In Ephesians, Paul commands: "Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it might benefit those who listen." My heart is screaming conviction at me right now.  If something constructive needs to be said, let me say it in a helpful manner rather than as slander.  For the past few months we have been going through the book of Proverbs.  Essentially all 31 chapters addresses the tongue, lips, mouth, or words in some form or another.  Our speech is a dangerous weapon if not controlled. While it has the power to soothe like balm or satisfy as honey, in an instant we choose to use it to cut people down, especially those we love the most.  I catch myself regretting most things I say and have found it better to simply keep my mouth shut if I can't say something nice (although I have failed to tame it effectively).  A constant work in progress, my ambition is to actually be encouraging with my words that they might benefit those who listen.

Mercy

What would our world look like if we examined ourselves?  If everyone else was like me, we would be remorseful, discouraged people.  The self-examination of our hearts leads us to a place of beautiful transformation.  Not one person could unveil their secrets and feel they have reached perfection.  Instead, the willingness to look at the heart authentically brings a raw chance for surrender.  Vulnerability must be present for mercy to rush in and cover all our shame.  And in this moment of naked disgrace, truer glory has never been known... the glorious forgiveness of our Lord and Savior! 
Oh Father, with reckless, hopeless abandon, I come before you a hypocrite, a sinner.  Wash me white, cover me with you blanket of grace.  Make me beautiful once again.


Inspired from Isaiah 43.

Productive!

I would consider today a productive day... I've posted on both my food blog, this one, and plan to update the family blog which is a major success considering it's been almost a month since any have been touched!  Sorry if you are a regular reader... I've been a letdown. =)

Also accomplished today, in both sun and rain:

• Picked 22 lbs. of organic strawberries with Mac
• Started one batch of strawberries, bananas, and apples in the dehydrator
• Hulled all the strawberries and begun flash-freezing them
• Found perfect Father's Day cards for both dads
• Watered my garden
• Found the first produce in our garden: a little green bean!
• Picked raspberries from the neighbor's yard
• Said hi to my parents
• Walked downtown with my Mac to get our favorite chai and take the computer to the Mac store
• Went into the Inkwell WITHOUT begging Mac to buy anything
• Rigged up a clothesline in the backyard
• Cleared the yard of weeds that came up to my waist
• Pruned the rosebushes (I know it's the wrong season, but they were falling over...)
• Discovered the herbs that previous renters planted are edible
• Thought about what to do with the 22 lbs. of strawberries and decided to make some strawberry crisp for dessert.

What beauty I find in a productive Saturday!  Now, to continue the productivity without going absolutely insane... on the docket for tomorrow after church:

• Go to Costco
• Make granola, adding in some of the dehydrated strawberries
• Get some laundry drying on the clothesline (if it's not raining)
• Bake bread
• Read my book
• Play piano
• Clean the house
• Dinner with the fam for Dad

Proverbs 15

I have an image of a gray ashen heart, blackish-red coals lumped about.  I ask for your joy, for your cleansing with my arms outstretched, but I can't lift my hands high enough when I'm reaching for you my God.  Out of brilliant light comes a downpour of your Spirit in the form of pure and radiant snowflakes.  They fall in a blizzard as your grace covering me and my ashen heart turns to white.  The ash turns to joy and it escapes, flowing from my mouth as beautiful butterflies, full of color and delicacy.  They flow from my mouth as a song of praise, surrounded by radiant flowers, exotic, more beautiful than any I've ever seen.  As they rise to you, through the brilliant light I see a flawless hand reach down, open palmed to receive it as an offering.  My soul sing, how I love you for your cleansing flood of grace!

A Perfect Day.

Sometimes I forget just how much God longs to spend quality time with his Beloved.  Isaiah 62:5 says "As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you."  I love how the Lord helps me understand his love better through life experiences that I can envision. Have you ever thought about what type of one-on-one time God desires to spend with you?

Imagine a brisk spring day.  The sun fights its way through dreary clouds, which threaten to elicit an intense downpour at any given moment.  Every once in a while a brief wind creeps up unexpectedly.  The unpredictable weather doesn't bother you, though.  Nothing could possibly ruin the delight of being alone with your Beloved.  It's a day for adventure, just you and your Beloved.  You're not sure exactly where the road will take you, but you find peace knowing you're going somewhere together.  Better yet, you're going on the path that your Beloved leads you down.  You can't help but smile every time He looks at you. A supernatural warmth surges through your limbs and you shiver, blaming it on the wind.  "I love you," He says.  You hardly believe Him, but you know it's true; He has shown His unconditional love through so many sacrifices and acts of service that you can't help but desire to shower Him with the same love.
After many impromptu decisions, all with predestined outcomes, you arrive at a quiet park.  The ancient cottonwood trees tower overhead, leaves rustling as they sway in the breeze.  If you pay careful attention, you can watch the chipmunks scurry through the green grass to their bunkers.  Your beloved takes you by the hand and leads you down a trail that parallels a gently flowing river.  Together, you have not a care in the world.  The hardships of life fade away in His presence.  You feel you could spend hours strolling hand-in-hand, stopping every few minutes to look into His eyes and see that yes, He does, in fact, think the world of you.
"You're beautiful," He says.  The smile that has been glued on your face all day turns to a confused frown.  You look around at all the beauty His Father created and wonder how He could possible be putting you above it.  "More beautiful than the sun," He assures you, with complete sincerity.  How is it that the One who brings intense calm over your complicated soul finds you stunning?  You can't understand it.  Someone so perfect can look passed the scum of your life, your blemishes and disfiguration, and see beauty.  That is the love of your Beloved.
The path continues through the woods accompanied by the sound of the river lapping up against the shore.  Sheer bliss rushes through your heart just to be close to your Beloved.  He leads you to a bench, hidden from the chaos of the world around you.  You sit and talk about all things under the sun, carefree and open, feeling an unshakable security in His arms.  "I could talk to you for hours," He whispers softly in your ear.  To hear your Beloved desire to know the inner workings of your mind and heart brings you more comfort than ever.  You soak in every minute spent with Him, knowing that this is the type of unity God intended you to have with your Beloved.  If only we took time every day to sit in the presence of the One who loves us, enjoying His company, exposing vulnerability, and basking in His love.

This is the type of joy God desires us to experience... joy that comes from accepting the grace and love of His Beloved.  Joy that comes from embracing your identity as the Beloved of the One who covers all.

"You complete me."

The quote is from Ice Age, and is the common saying of the wonderful, the amazing, the one-and-only Ashlie Mae Keimig.  There's a lot of situations I could apply to that statement, but in this post, we're going shallow... the loveseat and chair complete the newly purchased sofa!

For those of you who don't know, my parents offered to buy us a couch back in September.  Well, being the ridiculously frugal and picky people that we are, it took us 7 1/2 months to decide on which one to purchase.  On Wednesday we finally landed on this Pompeii-Natuzzi, dark brown ("llama" to be official)  Italisofa from The Inkwell.  It was on a close-out sale and we got a killer deal for my parents.  

Well of course, I am never content (it's something I need to work on), and when I saw the WHOLE set, I wanted it.  We wrestled with the best option, whether or not to purchase it and eventually (3 days later) decided to go ahead and get it.  So now, our little living room is all set and the sofa is happy with it's friendly counterparts.  You complete me.

C.M.

I just needed to take a moment to tell everyone something... I absolutely adore these people! Josh & Krissa Dorfner are amazing, wonderful people and I love them so much. They bring wonderful joy to my life. Okay, now I'm done saying "they". Yes, I love Joshy very much, but really, I just want everyone to know how much I love the lovely lady in this picture! (I'm cut and dry, brutally honest)... So, Josh, enough about you...

... Krissa Jeanne Stephens Dorfner. Cookie Monster. My best friend. Going on 12 years of friendship. Sisterhood. She's been with me through thick and thin, and taught me so much about life and God's love and grace. I had the immense privilege to be used by the Lord to tell her about His salvation in 2002, 8 years ago.... I'm so happy she let me be part of her decision to follow Christ, and allowed me to help baptize her. She reminds me everyday of the power of prayer. When I cry, she cries with me and then makes me laugh. She rejoices with me when I'm happy, and always brings me back to reality. Honesty is always in her words. Basically, I just really love this girl to death! And I thought everyone should know. Enough Said.