Don't Spit

Have you ever stopped to think about why you're alive?  I did this week... On top of wedding stress, a terribly discouraging work week, I've managed to gain a cold... lovely.  I hate that feeling where you're not sick enough to stay home, but you're definitely sick enough to be grumpy and nonexistent.  So, because of all of this, I stopped and thought about why I'm alive.  And you know what I came up with?  Because God made me and He loves me.  Profound, huh?  No, seriously, the only reason that I'm alive is because God loves me.  There are so many things going on in my life; growing deeper in some relationships and falling depressingly away from others; learning how NOT to do my job, figuring out the most effective way to teach volleyball skills to those who know none, and trying to keep a grasp on reality as my wedding inches closer.  When you stop and really think about it - none of this matters.  God loves me and that's that.  It's enough.

I've been talking to one of my co-workers about the job and such - and let me tell you, he has plenty to say about it.  Every afternoon, there is something new to rant about, and I caught myself joining in the complaints.  What finally caught me was him voicing his disgust for being spat at (If you know anything about my job, you know this is most definitely a common occurrence).  We were talking about a former client and his experience with a former co-worker, when I realized that probably what disgusts God the most is when we spit in His face.  The tantrums, the slamming doors in faces, the biting to the point of tetanus shots - God can handle it all... but when it comes to spitting in His face, it saddens him; disgusts Him.  What I mean by spitting in God's face is that whenever we choose to complain about that which He has given us, we're saying He's not good enough - that He doesn't know what He's doing.  Whenever I choose my way over His way, I'm spitting in His face.  Ultimately, God is trying to provide the best environment for us; that which we can grow, learn, and mature... a situation where we can prosper and enjoy life to the fullest.  Don't spit in his face.  (I'm not directing that command at any one person, except maybe myself).  

Despite how discouraged I've been feeling lately, I know that God has all things planned for the best.  That may mean sticking it out, learning to persevere through tough times.  I know there is a reason I'm here and that I am involved in the activities and organizations that I am.  I'm going to trust that God knows best, and swallow the spit.