Jiffy Lube

I strongly dislike going to JiffyLube (yes, I used the words "strongly disliked" because the "H" word is not allowed with my kids - notice I refrained from the word kiddos - and therefore it would be hypocritical to use it).  Pardon the rambling side note, point is, I do not like going to get the oil changed.  I was trying to figure out exactly what it is that causes me to not want to go.  It's not the waiting or the always awkward conversations with the mechanics.  In all honesty, I despise it because they always try to give me free services! 

"You've got a few rock chips in your windshield - we can fix them for free, do you want us to?" Me being the amazingly independent adult that I am, always has to call up Daddy to make sure it's okay, and of course, he always says no.  We absolutely refuse to get free service.  

While the way I'm verbalizing this scenario seems awfully ridiculous, it's true.  We don't like to get free things because there is always a catch, right?  The nice men at Jiffy Lube only want to fix the rock chips because they get something out of it... somehow, they're still going to charge me even though they said it was free.  There is no way I can owe them nothing for their services.  No such thing as free in our world.

I find it's the same way with accepting God's grace.  So many people, myself included, cannot just accept that God desires to forgive us, no matter what we do, and accept us into his family. It is a FREE gift to be saved and GIVEN eternal life in heaven.  (Heaven, by the way, is going to be way, way, way, better than life as we currently know it).  Yet we still somehow cannot accept his offer.  At least for me, I always feel like I owe Him something... that I need to earn his grace and love.  My inability to accept what God has offered has turned out to be incredibly binding.  I desperately wish to find myself at the place of complete surrender that I used to be in.  

There is a beautiful freedom that comes from surrendering all control and selfish desires to the throne of God.  There is comfort in knowing that the One who created you and loves you unconditionally is going to take care of you.  It's just that point between letting go and freedom that is the hardest, and utterly painful.  It's what I'm trying to do, though - to trust that there are no catches to the free gift and just accept it.  Then, and then only, will I be free and feel joy in my heart once again.